A Cop’s Perspective on Christmas IV: The Christmas Party

One of our past Yule celebrations

Tis’ the season, and people are getting together to celebrate Christmas, which is now a week away. It is the time of year when people:

a)      Decorate their homes or offices by plugging in WAY too many Christmas lights and/or;

b)      Attempt to cook a Christmas feast for family and friends despite having absolutely no cooking ability whatsoever.

This means that it is a busy season for my fire dispatcher colleagues at the other end of the ops floor who have to rush to burning trees and kitchen infernos. However, this also creates business for my colleagues on police dispatch. Here are two actual 911 calls that made it to our police call takers last night after the caller told the 911 queue operator that they wanted to talk to police.


“Police. What is your emergency?”

“My house is on fire, what should I do?”


“Police. What is your emergency?”

“My carbon monoxide alarm is going off, what should I do?”

OK, at least they did call 911, although they asked for police, not the fire department. Is it just me or is it totally unreasonable to expect a person to be able to come up with an answer for either of those two situations?

Meanwhile the city is one big Christmas party from one end to the other, this being the last Saturday before Christmas. The traffic division is pulling over dozens of impaired drivers. As usual, a considerable number of these parties go pear-shaped and turn violent. However the party that stands out in my mind from last night’s madness actually involves a party bus. For those of you who don’t live in the big city: This is a full sized bus that has been converted to be a rolling party. The original idea was that you could use this to go on a pub crawl with your friends and not worry about driving. The party continues on the bus between venues. This particular party bus is in the middle of the busy downtown core at about 2 AM last night when one of the revellers on board the bus figures that he’s having such a good time that he’s going to pull out his semi auto and fire shots randomly out the window. Miraculously he doesn’t hit anyone. Incredibly the bus driver doesn’t pull over and call police. He drives on, because, apparently, the show must go on and we can’t let minor setbacks like this interrupt the party. Welcome to downtown Kabul. The party bus, full of empty casings, finally gets spotted and stopped miles away in the next district.

I’m off today. I’m celebrating Yule, the winter solstice, with my friends and trying to forget this madness for a while.


C. A. Ennis


About cuhulain

Kerr Cuhulain has been a Wiccan for 49 years and has been involved in anti-defamation activism and hate crimes investigation for the Pagan community from 1986 to 2005. Kerr was awarded the Shield of Valor by the Witches League for Public Awareness. Kerr is the author of the Law Enforcement Guide to Wicca, Witch Hunts, Wiccan Warrior, Full Contact Magick and Magickal Self Defense. Kerr has a column with 182 articles on anti-defamation issues and hate crimes on The Witches’ Voice web site called Witch Hunts. Kerr is the former Preceptor General of Officers of Avalon, an organization representing Neo-Pagan professionals in the emergency services (police, firefighters, emergency medical technicians). Kerr retired from the Vancouver Police Department in November 2005 after serving 29 years with them. He was awarded the Governor General’s Exemplary Service Medal. Kerr's past job assignments within the VPD include the Emergency Response Team, Hostage Negotiator, Child Abuse Investigator, Gang Crime Unit, and the Mental Health Emergency Services Unit. Kerr went on to be a police dispatcher and trainer for ECOMM for Southwestern BC. Kerr retired from law enforcement work in April 2013. Kerr is the founder of a Wiccan order of Knighthood called the Order of Paladins in November 2007. The Order embraces the Warrior philosophies, precepts and code of chivalry outlined in Kerr’s books. The Order of Paladins is a study group for people interested in Wiccan magick, energy work and rituals related to the Warrior path, focusing on empowerment, personal development and creative expression. The training focuses on the effective use of magickal energy and developing psychic skills. Courses are taught on line through the Ardantane School of Magick, where Kerr is on faculty. The Order of Paladins is constantly developing new rituals, and magick and studying our Warrior philosophy. Our members are spread across the globe and connect through local preceptories and on line. All members are expected to participate and contribute. Kerr is now the National Secretary of the Royal Astrononomical Society of Canada.
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